Today, I saw it.
There are just so many things I want to say, perspectives I want to offer, and so many topics I want to cover. And patience is not exactly a virtue of mine. My old English teacher would definitely frown upon my having started a sentence with an “and.” I have to let go of some of those rules here and not let my perfectionism hinder my creativity and authenticity. That’s a hard thing to unlearn. Anyway, I’d like to mostly make this a “glow space” and keep things light (#punned), but I am also here to increase awareness on the serious issue of child sexual abuse. The world needs to know the lasting effects of childhood trauma into adulthood, and as I continue through my healing journey as a wife and parent, I can think of nothing better than to share some of those experiences with you; whether it be here or through my poetry.
A special shout out to my husband who believes in me and bought me a laptop to help chase my dreams. He’s been at my side teaching me how to edit video, use Photoshop, set up my YouTube channel, and all the techie things to support my inner poetess of the virtual age. An old friend recently told me, “lean on your husband, and you will be unstoppable.” He was right.
So, tell me...what’s your passion? It’s a scary question in today’s society. A friend recently asked me if it was “bad” that she didn’t have a passion. It’s not “bad,” but I can tell you that you do have a gift you can selflessly offer to the world; it’s buried deep in there somewhere. In my situation, I just needed to pause long enough to think about it because I was always moving too fast. I had to really think about it. What was it that brought me joy in my childhood? I thought long enough to remember that I loved setting up my imaginary classroom, complete with a teacher’s desk and gradebook. It was that circa 1992 red Mead spiral notebook that held my poems, even a presidential candidate “campaign” poem. The principal of my elementary school used to have a program called “Principal’s Poem of the Month,” and students had an opportunity to memorize the poem and then recite it to the principal in order to earn a mascot button and bragging rights. Let’s just say I had a box full of these buttons and kind of wish I still had them.
Fast forward 11 years, and I graduated with a degree in Secondary English Education.
The challenge of writing a Shakespearean research paper in college was thrilling. I would nerd out on searching through the card catalog (remember, it was year 2000ish), sifting through the library stacks, forming my outline, and finding those nuggets of brilliant research to support my thesis. I also kept many of the poems I wrote in college. Upon finishing my student teaching, my best friend’s mom had written a note to me that said, “I wish you the best as you begin many years of great projects, poetry, writing, and bringing English to life!” I ended up teaching poetry as an elective to high school students, and at the end of the semester, I loved hosting an open mic “coffee house” in my classroom for my students to read their poetry aloud. I taught for one year before my career took on a whole different direction.
Long story short, I hadn’t written a poem in 15 years until May 24, 2019 when I was overcome with emotion and wrote a poem for my best friend who was moving across the country. We had basically been inseparable for 16 years. At that moment, I realized just how much I had missed writing poems! Ironically, that same day I had stumbled upon a star chart that my Aunt had put together for me, and it read: “You are gifted with a powerful imagination, a sense of poetry and a fine memory.” So many synchronicities on this journey are telling me I’m moving in the right direction.
It’s interesting that writing runs in my family...on so many levels. My Grandma always wrote letters to the grandkids, and my Mom is an excellent writer. What is even more crazy is that I was adopted as a newborn and met my birth family shortly after turning 29 only to discover my biological grandma’s poetry is published in The Poetry Guild Anthology. To this day she often sends me copies of her poems that were published in the newspaper in the 90s.
Knowing all this, it seems only natural for me to aspire to educate the world (become the kind of teacher I was supposed to be) and to inspire expression and authenticity through writing. And maybe, you might just find yourself putting pen to paper to heal through writing, so I am calling out to all GLoW Gals to come glow with me and express yourself through writing and poetry. If you are someone who has already turned to poetry to heal from trauma, I would be honored to share your original work on my social media platforms.
For everyone here, I leave you with this GLoWing thought, and I know you have heard it before:
Be the change you want to see.
* Check out social to see how today I saw my daughter be the change I want to see.